5 Lies We Should Not Tell Our Children
What parents have not ever lied to make their child stop insisting to do something while they finished doing something else? It has happened to me on occasion. For this reason, we are going to see, below, some of the lies that we should not tell our children.
Adults sometimes lie to obtain reassurance, calm, or comfort. But what happens to children when we lie to them? And when we promise to do something and then we don’t? We are teaching them that you can lie and that, in addition, we do not comply with what we say. Our word loses value.
When we lie to children by telling them things that we will not fulfill in the end, we are hurting them. So, let’s look at some of the issues where lying to children can be a real problem. Keep reading!
Lies we should not tell our children
All lies have detrimental effects on children, but there are certain topics with which lying to children can be a real bomb.
Parents are their role models and we must avoid lying, although, sometimes, their insistence is such that we tell them that we will do something later (because we are very busy) that in the end we do not comply with what we have said. Let’s see some of those lies.
“You are a junk, an unbearable child!”
If you have ever said this to your child, surely it has not been because you think that in reality your child is like that, but that it is anger and frustration that are speaking. The problem is that your son does not know if you really mean it or not, and he thinks that if you tell him it is because it is true.
For this reason, it is important that, if you say so, when you feel calmer, you rectify so that he does not grow up with the assurance that this is the case because his parents say so.
“As long as you don’t do what I told you, the bogeyman will take you”
What more would we want than to tell our children to do something and do it without impeding, but this is not the case and parents end up very frustrated. To get them to do it immediately, we turn to the coconut, the wolf, the bogeyman, etc.
But this hurts their hearts and makes them feel afraid. They will think that why his parents want the bogeyman or the bogeyman to take him if he doesn’t behave as they say, and they will think it is because they don’t want him. You sure don’t want your kids to end up thinking that, so it’s best to avoid saying these things.
“Nothing has happened”, one of the lies that we should not tell our children
Another thing that parents say and that we do with the best of intentions to prevent children from being overwhelmed is to say that nothing happens when they have a mishap. However, we are not favoring them; on the contrary, we harm them.
If he falls and hurts himself, he cries seeing that he has a small scratch and we tell him that nothing is wrong, what is the child learning from this? That there are differences between what he feels and the reality that his parents see. This will create confusion for you and you will no longer know when what is happening to you does have value or when it should be ignored.
“You deserve it all”
For parents, our children are the engines of our life, our light, our everything, but this does not make them better than others or more deserving. We live in a society and it is important that they learn that they are not the center of attention or the most important for other people, although they are for us.
We must transfer the value of humility to them so that they can integrate socially. They have to be aware that they deserve the best, but that the best is achieved with effort. Convey to them that in life we must be grateful so that they do not end up becoming tyrants, that they recognize their mistakes and that we, as parents, will always do everything we can for them.
Make them feel that they will not suffer in life
Sometimes, we love our children so much that we do not want them to suffer and, for that, we paint the world pink to prevent them from getting frustrated, promising them things that will not be able to be fulfilled. This, contrary to what we think, does not favor them, but rather damages them.
In addition, all these types of comments cause them to lose confidence in us when they verify that, although we have told them that they will not suffer, it is not us who depends on whether they suffer or not.
The unexpected death of a relative, a blow that has occurred at school, etc. As is normal, we do not want to see them suffer, but we cannot prevent them from suffering in certain situations. Life is so; sometimes you fall and you have to get up, fight and overcome obstacles. In this way, we will develop their resilience, so you never have to camouflage your problems and you have to be honest.
In short, as you have seen, there are lies that we should not tell our children, since their consequences can be more negative than other types of lies.
It is clear that we should not lie in any way, but there are more complicated issues that produce worse consequences than others. So, you already know which lies can be more harmful to your children, so from now on, try to avoid them, for the good of all.
