How Do I Earn My Teenage Son’s Trust?
Children grow up and a question arises in every parent: “How can I earn my adolescent’s trust?” Many falsely believe that the withdrawal is part of a simple stage of rebellion; however, not all cases are the same.
The parent-child relationship doesn’t always deteriorate. This depends on a number of things, such as character compatibility and the youth’s internal processes. The relationship is forged from childhood and all past experiences influence.
Of course, what happened in the past cannot be fixed. But… can we still do something to get closer to our children during their adolescent stage? There are many experts who indicate that it is, and for this many factors influence; one of these important variables is the attitude of the parents.
The time for the test has come
During childhood, we were the mirror in which our little ones looked at themselves. What we often do not understand is that this value relationship changes with its growth. Once they feel “old” and independent, young people begin to value things for themselves.
Parents will not be the exception of this weighting of adolescents. Within the complexity, adolescence is a stage where the parent will be tested beyond their authority.
The adolescent will measure aspects of the paternal attitude such as morals, justice, patience, openness, understanding, etc. Certainly, adolescent rebellion plays a predominant role: they verify if as parents we give everything we ask for.
Earning My Teenager’s Trust : Control or Confidence
This is one of the aspects that can separate or unite a mother more with her child. During emotional emancipation, young people appreciate that they trust them and that they are not treated as small. There are many times when parents will have to choose between trust or control.
In the day to day situations will arise that will force us to control, punish, prevent or prevent. But even in those cases, there are always alternatives and approaches to address the situation. Of course, it will also be necessary to trust on other occasions.
Our level of permissibility will be torn between control and trust. Therefore, parents will have to be careful not to behave irrationally, or subjectively. Talking, offering positive reinforcement, and not commanding is the key to success.
Better than giving orders is setting limits
A teenager is close to being an adult and it is logical that they do not understand when they are given orders to dry. On the contrary, what corresponds is to give freedom progressively, establishing certain limits.
For these reasons, it is convenient to leave the orders behind and begin to stipulate margins of action: time limits and collection, spaces to attend, etc. Of course, in the face of imminent risks, we will have to deny the permission, but always explaining the reason.
When we allow we do something more important: leave spaces; By doing this, we show confidence and respect for our own personality. However, sooner rather than later the young man will have to begin to fend for himself.
Lots of effective communication
If you’ve asked yourself “how can I earn my adolescent’s trust?” Another answer is communication. But we will not always communicate as the authorities that we are, nor in the colloquial way that we would like as parents.
At this point, the vital thing is to find effective communication bridges, common themes, tones, spaces and uses of language. It is logical that the father of the adolescent should reinvent himself before the expectant gaze of his young son.
It will not be an easy matter; young people cannot always be expected to want to open us up to their emotional life. Even those who idolize their parents have a hard time doing this; the rest is understanding that they will exercise their privacy.
How can I earn my teenage son’s trust?
As we have seen, the main thing is to understand that the children have definitely grown up and will soon enter adulthood. Likewise, parents of young children should be vigilant. Confidence with the future adolescent is built from childhood.
Everything seems to indicate that the manipulation and transition of parental fear have negative effects over time. A child who was always free and understood will not feel the need to break free. At least that seems logical even from today’s psychology.
