How To Convey To Our Children How Special And Valuable They Are
It is very important that we let our children know how special and valuable they are. Children have to learn to love themselves for who they are, regardless of their achievements or failures. They have to be valued for who they are in essence.
Parents, sometimes unconsciously, want our children to be great professionals and we highly praise their achievements. This is not bad, but we have to keep in mind that if we only congratulate them on their achievements, they will feel valid just because of that, not because of who they are, special and unique children.
Consequences of valuing our children for their achievements and not for how special and valuable they are
If the little ones only feel valued for their achievements, when they fail, their self-esteem will suffer. Parents, with our good intentions, sometimes end up valuing achievements, but not our children for what they are. Thus, some effects of praising achievements only are as follows:
- They show an excessive tendency towards perfectionism.
- They are afraid of failing.
- They think they don’t deserve good things.
- They feel stressed and with general anxiety.
- They see failure as a bad thing and not as an opportunity to learn.
- They believe that they are not “enough” because of how they are.
How can we convey to our children how special and valuable they are?
How can we help our children avoid these unhealthy behaviors and thoughts? The consequences that we have seen in the previous point can be avoided by implementing some tips.
Make them see how valuable and special they are
Find moments with our children to talk with them and highlight how special and important they are, just for being who they are. It is important that we convey that their worth is not determined by their achievements, but by their value as people, and that they should be accepted and loved as they are.
Become aware of what we do not do well
Adults must realize those things that we do that are not beneficial for children, and transform them into more positive actions, since some of these all they do is increase unnecessary pressure on children.
Work our patience
Sometimes, parents lose patience when our child is learning to do something and it doesn’t work out. We even consider finishing it ourselves to finish earlier. But we must not do this; We have to work our own patience and teach children that nothing happens because things don’t turn out perfect the first time.
Learn from failures
The mistakes that each of us make are a great opportunity to learn in the face of future experiences. If we talk about this as a family, with simplicity, we will contribute greatly to the growth of the child.
Encourage them to love themselves
To ensure that the little ones do not need the approval of anyone to feel valuable, we, the parents, have to be their constant reference; they will love themselves to a greater or lesser extent depending on what they see in their references.
Most of us have grown up having to learn how valuable we are once we become adults; It is in our hands that the new generations develop knowing how appreciated they are from childhood. If we succeed, they will grow into loving, compassionate, and healthy adults. With this, we can contribute to a better society.
Keys to improving children’s self-esteem knowing how special and valuable they are
We can improve the self-esteem of our children so that they feel valid as they are with some of the following keys:
Listen to them carefully while we look them in the eye
Only with this gesture will our son feel cared for and listened to and will feel that he is loved for being the way he is.
Tell them often that we love them
Although it is a fact that all parents love our children, it is necessary that we tell them. These words will comfort you whenever you hear them.
Be good role models
It is crucial that there is coherence between what we say and do as parents. Children learn through our example. We have to love ourselves and feel valuable so that they also feel that way.
Help them recognize their strengths
Doing activities or games as a family in which children use their abilities is a very good option for them to realize their full potential. Thus, they learn to love themselves.
Ultimately, it is very important that children realize how special and valuable they are just the way they are. When we feel good about ourselves, there is no obstacle or limit that stops us from feeling good and being happy.
Remember that we are all special, unique and valuable people just as we are, and this is essential to transmit to the little ones. Their value is not determined by what they do or achieve, but by what they are.
