My Daughter Is Getting Married!
When parents receive the news that their daughter is getting married, a series of emotions immediately arise that make the moment beautiful but not for that reason easier to ‘digest’; which is why it is normal for concerns and expectations of all kinds to arise.
The memories run through the mind at full speed and the journey of images of the moments lived is deeply moving. And that mixture of feelings arrives: satisfaction, excitement, nerves and also sadness … Our daughter is getting married! When did time go by so fast?
Changes in the family nucleus involve several concerns. And, although the changes are for the better, at first they are intimidating. This is normal and unavoidable. However, it can be handled with joy and enthusiasm if we focus on:
- See our daughter happy and proud.
- Receive new members of the family.
- Rejoice to see how the family has grown and how beautiful it is to have the opportunity to socialize with others.
My daughter is getting married, what is the way forward?
From now on, the way forward is basically that meadow of values that we cultivate in our daughter since her earliest childhood. Now is when she will understand that path on which you already travel with your ups and downs, yes, but always with infinite affection and understanding.
An upcoming wedding is an opportunity to learn (or relearn about unconditional love and the value of honest speech). In these circumstances, everyone learns and that is a cause for celebration because it allows the different parties to share their points of view, with optimism and wisdom. Above all, what parents must transmit to their children is security and self-confidence so that they can start this new stage of their life on the right foot.
Advice for the mother
Saying my daughter is getting married can represent for you, from a joy to a bittersweet sigh of nostalgia. The fact that your daughter is very focused on her partner and all the wedding plans does not mean that she will not need your advice. And for sure, you will find a good time to give him advice on life as a couple. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Respect the couple’s decisions
One of the points that you should pay attention to or reinforce will be: respect. Be willing to step aside when your daughter and her husband make decisions. It can be a serious and somewhat tough matter, since as a mother you will be used to influencing your daughter. As we grow up, we accept that children have free will and that, although they can always count on us to guide them, they are already capable of moving forward on their own.
With the new marriage, you will feel the anguish of wanting to conduct certain affairs of her and that is not right. So, you must arm yourself with patience and even if you do not like the decisions they make, you must respect them. Remember that it is healthy to let people make mistakes so that they can learn for themselves. We cannot always avoid ‘bad’ or get it out of the way to ‘save suffering’.
Cultivate patience
It is very common for your daughter to express doubts about aspects of the wedding. But you don’t have to control everything and know the solution to each of your doubts. Let your daughter gain experience through the full use of her powers. You can be wrong about something, sure you are. But you should not begin to occupy the space that your future husband will have and that he already has because he has formalized a commitment.
Act wisely
When you allow the new couple to have their space to talk and make decisions, you will collaborate to create a relaxed atmosphere in the rapprochement of both families. And little by little, you will see how your daughter will ask you for advice regarding some matters that she considers to be not very clear.
Being wise also includes knowing how much to say, to whom, and when. A simple and punctual comment on a matter may be enough at a certain moment. And do not extend to comment on matters that have not been discussed or asked for.
Allow all members to participate
When hearing and even feeling) the expression “my daughter is getting married”, it is normal that you want to be involved in almost every aspect. And as the wedding day approaches, you may be, with the consent of the bride and groom, already very involved in the preparations: dress, reception, courtship, and any other detail in which you are comfortable and feel useful.
Do not forget to involve all members of the family, to a greater or lesser degree, so as not to exclude any of them. Especially the father. The fact that both parents support each other as a married couple is an incentive and a good example for the happy couple. The active participation of family members will help create a more joyful environment, while strengthening emotional ties.
After all, marriage is a very important step in anyone’s life. Our mission from now on will be to respect her decisions and space and rejoice for her.
