Now I Am A Mother, But Every Day I Miss The Mother That I No Longer Have By My Side

There are many studies that tell us about the importance of grandparents in raising grandchildren. However, there is one aspect that is not always addressed: the emotional, psychological and experiential support that a mother gives her daughter during motherhood.

The fact of not having her, of not having her presence by our side because we lost her a long time ago, is undoubtedly something very complex. If the relationship built with our mother was enriching and special, the pain of her absence is often relived when that first child arrives. That child who would have been his grandson, and whom we will raise without his presence.

It is a fairly common reality that is rarely talked about too much. However, there are many women who miss that maternal bond when childbirth arrives, when the puerperium arrives and those first months where fatigue, lack of sleep, fears and hormonal changes make us relive that absence.

The emptiness of our mother if we lost her in the past. If this is your case, we suggest you delve a little into this topic to find relief.

The legacy of a mother with her daughters

You may have had times of tension with your mother. Growing up, living together, developing one’s own personality … All of these are dimensions that from time to time made us “collide” with both her and the rest of our family. However, we build really special bonds with our mothers.

It is more than just a genetic or educational legacy. We talk about a treasure trove of emotions, good advice, support and daily encouragement that made us become the women we are now. Perhaps, if today you are a brave, strong and independent person, you owe it to her. Because it was your reflection, your support in every moment of difficulty.

Living motherhood without the presence of our mother

According to a study carried out in the company “Pampers”, 6 out of 10 women around the world rely on their own mothers to educate and raise their children. They follow their advice, let themselves be guided and of course help. We cannot close our eyes to the great role that grandparents play in today’s society. They are true pillars in many families.

• However … what happens when we don’t have our mother ? It is clear that, in many cases, we have our partners, siblings, friends, close relatives and in essence, all that wonderful “tribe ” that welcomes the newborn with joy.

• However, if the relationship was good with our mother and we lost her in the past, her figure is greatly missed when motherhood arrives.

• This does not mean that we did not do it before. An absence like this always hurts, it is always longed for, it is always missing. But with an event as important as the birth of a child, that emptiness is revived and experienced in a deeper and more delicate way.

Your mother left you a legacy, it’s time to pass it on

Do not let yourself be trapped by the weight of painful memories, longing or possible anger when lamenting that your mother is missing that precious grandson. It is time to be strong and pass on a valuable legacy.

Look in the mirror and think that inside you, there is a lot of your mother. As several studies such as the one carried out by psychiatrist Fumiko Hoeft reveal, the brain structure that governs emotions is inherited from mothers to daughters.

• Inside us are those genes that will help us to be resilient. To be as brave as our mothers were.

• Likewise, your heart also keeps every teaching, every gesture, every word and affection that he transmitted to you throughout his life. All this forms a precious mantle of feelings and values ​​with which to wrap your child every day.

Grandparents and grandmothers do not die: they become invisible

We explained it to you not long ago in one of our articles. Grandparents don’t die, they just become invisible. The people we love the most, like that mother that you loved so much and that you now miss, is still by your side.

• It is there because it sleeps in your memory and in your heart. Because you can relive her every day to follow her advice. To be as patient with your child as she was with you. To draw eternal smiles even if you are tired, as she did.

• Nobody leaves completely as long as others continue to love them, as long as their loved ones evoke the best that he offered them.

Be now the best example and the best legacy for your children as she was with you. That will be your best tribute. In addition, If you are one of the lucky ones who still has the company of your mother, take this opportunity to live this new stage of your life as a mother, more fully and happily.